F*ING DATING

We went on a first date with a guy who showed up in sweats and was already drunk (we think). During the hour we spent together he proceeded to slam three more drinks and said fuck at least fifty times. So loudly that other people in the bar noticed. We were mortified.

LOVE LETTER

Dear El,


Remember when we agreed that when our affair was over, we'd be upfront and talk about it? It's not that it's over (that is a survivable loss). It's the unreturned phone calls, your silence.


You've let us down. 


So, this is goodbye.

PILLOW TALK

Photo via dress, design, decor

We decide to try online dating again. It had been a few years and we need to take control of our dating life. Let's  have an adventure and see what's out there. After a few days and a few winks we get an actual email.

Email #1

Hope you're having a good thur! I just noticed your ad and thought I should say hi and introduce myself. I guess I'm not sure what to say, but I live in downtown Bellevue, just turned 30 last month also and am still getting used to it...lol You seem straight to the point and am wondering if you might be interested in getting together? My name is brian and if you'd like to meet up, let me know!

(What’s with the random non-capitalization and punctuation?)

We check out his profile and notice that 1) He’s super-cute. But, 2) His profile has a lot of loaded language like: I'm looking for a girl who doesn't want to change me, who is comfortable with me being me and her being her…And we think – hmmmm.

But, being open-minded and believing that it's important to cast the net wide on this Internet-dating-thing (mind you, the wide net did not include "Bed-shaker-69"). Besides, we need practice composing casual-but-interesting emails because it’s awkward and we never know what to say. We write him back a short, slightly dorky email. Notice we don't address his offer of getting together. Seems premature.

Response, Email #2

Hi Brian,

How are you? Having a good weekend? Yesterday was so beautiful – definitely made us excited for summer (or spring at least!). Happy belated birthday! Did you have a big party or do something else special?

Well, tell us a little more about yourself. Downtown Bellevue? Have you been to Boom Noodle?

And this is what we get back:

Email #3

I think I'm not interested in dating people right now. I'm just so busy and don't really have much time for a real relationship. You are awfully cute though! Definitely someone to wake up next to everyday...I'm sure you'll find your man in no time =)

Wow. We just got rejected by a guy who hit on us. This is a first. Upon consultation from several wise friends we get these possible explanations:

1)     brian just wanted booty and our response showed that we weren't down.

2)     He got dumped, signed up for online dating and then regretted it.

3)     Between thurs and Sunday the man met the girl of his dreams =) and just wasn’t into us.

What did we learn? You should never tell someone you don’t know that they "look like someone nice to wake up next to." It’s uncomfortable.

Note: One-week later when we check up on brian’s profile, it’s been removed.

BOOK CLUB

We tend not to read self-help books. Or dating books. But, the other day we had a bit of a Bridget Jones moment and ordered He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing), from Amazon. A friend of a friend wrote it and we've got to support our peeps!


But what really got us was that it seems to be along the line of a few things we've been thinking about lately: dating ruts, attraction and how it works, relationship patterns (For example, we realized that we've never dated a guy with a sister. Ever. What does that mean?), etc. Plus, our friend said that Andrea is wicked funny. And we love funny girls! 


We just started it, so don't have an official review. But, we're excited about this assignment and will keep you posted. 


Mark your calendars! Andrea will be speaking at Third Place Books in Ravenna on May 25. We're going for sure. Who's with us?

A CRUSH

Our friend has a lovely, shy 3.5 year-old daughter. Apparently she has an admirer. An older guy (he's 6). 


Here's the Story
Boy wants to have Girl over for lunch, but she's playing hard to get. Really, her shyness is getting the best of her.


Everyday lately, as they're leaving "school," Boy makes a point of saying goodbye to Girl. And his mom told our friend that one day after Boy said goodbye and Girl actually smiled and said goodbye back, (And here's the sweetest part.) Boy said to his mom "Isn't she beautiful when she smiles?"

WORD

We spent last weekend in our favorite grit city: Tacoma, WA. We didn't meet any new cute boys, but house and dog sitting gave us the opportunity to spend some time alone, reflecting. Also got to see great friends and catch up with an incredible community. Some highlights.

Wandered the graffiti garages on Broadway and (as usual) were blown away by the amazing variety and talent. This is such a cool space and the graffiti practically changes before your eyes, a constant rotation of art. We love it. Love it!

Baked a vodka pie (really, it was rhubarb but we got the recipe for the crust that includes vodka via Smitten Kitchen).


Went to an amazing David Bazan show at Urban Grace Church. He entertained us with beautiful music and a lively, honest Q&A. One of his songs made us cry.

And the highlight - went to Wayzgoose at King's Books. For those of you who haven't heard of it, Wayzgoose is a printing festival and the coolest thing is that they make HUGE lino prints with a steam roller. Didn't take any photos, but we did get to print our very own Beautiful Angle poster. Like many Tacomans, we're huge fans of Beautiful Angle - a local letterpress poster project. Thought-provoking, witty and lovely copy, amazing design, wheat pasted around the city once a month. Free for the taking if you're lucky.


We think the copy of this poster is the perfect mantra for our spring.