March 24, 2011


Our upstairs neighbor had been terrorizing us for months with his stomping, slamming, music playing and general loud-ass-ness. 

We had take action when bumping, grinding and moaning were added to the list of offenses. We trudged up to ask him to please, try, please. Keep it down. 

Can you believe it - he had the nerve to ask us out on the spot! Uh-huh. Now we were really surprised. What about the girl he was just doing?

Damn! Guess you can't get in the way of a player, especially if he lives upstairs.

March 21, 2011


We've found that every time we try online dating we meet a few nice-enough guys. A few duds (or just not people we want to date again) and at least one total weirdo.

Maybe it's just us, but we're sharing an email/text conversation so you can tell us which one of the categories that P falls into.

Email #1 (from P)
I enjoyed your pitch, "If you're curious, like an adventure and are open minded and kind - we'll have something to talk about." I like adventures, and am ashamed to admit how few I have had recently. Although the best one of late was the Lynwood Skate and Bowl. For 13 bucks you can have a two sport night.

Some things I will use to my advantage,

1) Beige is bad

2) The Columbia city theater is fun

3) The Sculpture Park is great use of "pork barrel" spending

4) I haven't read a lot, but "East of Eden" is a masterpiece

5) Canadian whisky is not whiskey.

6) The Melrose Market beats Serious Pies hands down.

*) This one is probably not to my advantage. Steve Sher should not be on the radio, he drives me nuts, and they have the nerve to give him two hours.

Open to a beer? A stroll weather permitting? Dumplings?


The list he references above relates to our bio. We share a bunch of things we like - whiskey, books, NPR, etc. and say that they can use them to their advantage, if they want.

We're going to stay away from the political "pork barrel" spending comment, because we don't exactly know what he's talking about and if we think about it too much we might eliminate him from the possibility pool. And so, we write back.

Hi P,

Have you been to the Columbia City Theater since it's been redone? Such a great venue! We've never been to the Lynwood Skate & Bowl. Wait, take that back. We may have been there to skate ages and ages ago. We're not so good at bowling or skating. But, what can you do?

We are open to a beer or a stroll. Although we have to get one thing straight right now - we like Steve Sher and you can't change our mind! At least we can agree on East of Eden. A favorite. Have you read his other stuff?

Hope you're having a good day. The sun is so dazzling!


Email #2
I have to say I have not been to the Columbia City Theater in a while. The last time I was there Angie's across the street was still in business. I like Columbia City but it is a little far especially when drinking is involved. If only the city of Seattle could get light rail going quicker, but alas it is going to be a while.

I will say the one thing I like on Weekday is when they bring in the guy who covers Canadian Politics. Of course never really remember any names, except for Stephen Harper. It is nice to hear about North American Politics other then the violence in Mexico, or the in fighting here. I put my foot down when it comes to Organic Gardening Tuesdays. Every time I am working on site and that comes on, the crew turns on me and I lose control of the radio for the rest of the day. My absolute favorite thing on NPR is the Writer's Almanac in the afternoon.

I know it is late in the week, how does a beer and some pinball tomorrow night sound? Maybe Shorty's? I am open to any sort of random idea to meet outside of bungee jumping or karaoke. If tomorrow is too soon, maybe sometime next week.

I look forward to meeting you.

(he includes his phone number)

What's with the political rant? We're into politics and news and such, but seems a little intense for a get-to-know-you email...Oh well, we like a guy who has opinions. 

Also, we have to say that we like for a guy to ask us for our number and call us. We don't plan on calling him first. Although we're probably being unreasonable.

Hi P,

Unfortunately, we don't think a date this weekend is going to work. We've come down with the dreaded cold that everyone is suffering from and want to take it easy and not subject anyone to our bad germs!

Maybe next week? (we give him our phone number)


We also don't mention that we have several other dates lined up for the week and weekend, despite our cold. Our calendar is booked!

Email #3
Well I am sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well, and hope you feel better soon. Give me a call when you have recovered. I look froward to hearing from you.


At this point, we decide we're not that into this guy. Especially not enough to pursue a date by calling him when we're over our cold. But, at some point the next week, he emails us again.

Email #4
I hope you are feeling better. It seems you and half of Seattle are trying to beat this cold. I was reading an article about some new places on The Hill that I wanted to try. Interested?


Dear P,
It goes in phases. Right now We're feeling quite stuffy. But earlier today we were feeling much better. Thanks for asking. How are you?

Trying a new place on Cap Hill would be fun. Did we give you our number? (we give him our number again)


We know know that we've already given him our phone number. But are trying to make the point that we want him to call us. Is it just us or does jumping from email to a date seem to be skipping a step? Call us old fashioned, but we like to chat once or twice. At least to make a plan.

Email #5
Be patient with this cold, it seems that it takes about 4 days to get over. I have seen a couple people try to come back too soon only to get knocked down. So take care of yourself and healthy doses of chicken soup.

So I have kind of an ambitious idea for a date. I read an article about these new speakeasies in Capitol Hill. I was thinking we could take a walking tour and check them out. All three of them are right around 12th and Pike. This week I am kinda busy during the week, and Saturday I have a Christening I have to attend since I am the Godfather. I was thinking either Friday or Saturday night if that works for you.

You gave me your number, but I kinda want to hear your voice in person. Also I kinda like the anticipation of seeing if you wrote me back. Hope to hear from you soon.


Yikes! This totally weirds us out. We realize that not everyone is a phone person like we are. And have accepted that lots of guys text us rather than calling but...hearing our voice first in person?!? It comes off as weird, right?

We get a text from P (So he does know how to use the phone)
I hope you have made a full recovery. Are you interested in getting together tomorrow or Saturday? 

We decide we don't want to go out with this guy. He seems off. Someone we for- sure don't want to date. We know that his intentions probably aren't coming across as he meant them to...Plus we've met someone else that we really like and don't feel like going on random dates with guys who've already raised red flags. 

We ask our friend if we should be up-front and just email P back and tell him that we're not interested. And maybe tell him that if a girl gives him her phone number usually it means she wants him to call her. And he should, even if his preference is different. But she tells us that's not our job.

Email #6
Are you still interested in meeting for a drink sometime?


As discussed, we don't respond.

Email #7
Well, I had no idea Steve Sher could be so divisive. Good luck out there.


Um, maybe we were a jerk for not emailing him back and saying we're not interested. But his last email, putting us in our place, seems rather unnecessary. Although it is sorta funny...

So, what do you think? Are we being unreasonably judgmental? Please tell us! And please share your crazy-man stories, we're in the need of a few laughs.

March 3, 2011


This is a story with a soundtrack. 

The Doe Bay Sessions - Curtains for You from Sound on the Sound on Vimeo.

Recently, we attended a show at Richard Hugo House. It was a part of a literary series. 

Each artist - two writers and three musicians - were asked to write new work based on the theme "Brief Encounters" and preform. It was really amazing. 

Our favorites were the Hannah Hynes-Mumford's (a high school senior, impressive!) reading and Macklemore. Both mind-blowing in different ways. It was a special treat to see how Macklemore's rap techniques translated to the essay he wrote and vice versa.

And it reminded us of a brief encounter of our own.

Last fall we stopped by a vintage shop called Indian Summer. We scored some great stuff and admired this cool men's shawl-collar Pendelton sweater on a mannequin. As we were paying two guys walked in. One was super-cute and happened to be wearing the exact same sweater as the mannequin.

Of course, we blurted out "You're wearing the same sweater..." (it was a small store) and trotted over to him to check the labels of both sweaters and confirm. Did we mention how cute he was?  

He told us that he got his sweater from his grandfather. And that was that. 

A few weeks later we were lucky enough to be invited to a house show featuring The Head and The Heart (don't be jealous), Kelli Schafer and Drew Grow and the Pastor's Wives. And, in between getting totally wasted - we went alone and were nervous, don't judge - we spotted a familiar looking guy. But we couldn't figure out why. Until at the end of the night he put on the sweater - it was him again!

Who is he? He must know someone we know...this is just crazy.

And then, on New Year's day, we walked around Greenlake with a friend - it was a beautiful day. And who did we see walking the opposite direction? Yep, Cute Sweater Guy! 

We couldn't help but jump. And we think he noticed us because we made brief eye contact. He gives us goosebumps.

Weird huh? It makes us wonder how many times we cross the paths of the same people but never recognize them.

Since then we've seen him around even more and actually figured out that we do have friends in common. No, we're not stalking him. But, for some reason he makes us incredibly nervous and we haven't gotten the courage to introduce ourselves yet. 

March 1, 2011


Pickwick at Conor Byrne open mic, photo via Picwick

Last Sunday we went to an open mic* that we like - lots of friends, great local music and it's a good way to kickoff the week. 

We were hanging out, drinking a beer when we noticed this guy looking at us. 

He was rocking an Axle Rose look, and not-in-a -good-way. Later, and completely unprovoked, a guy friend of ours asked us "what was up with the dude with the jock strap on his head?" Now you see our issue?

Even though we were avoiding eye contact, dude sidled up to us and...

Axle: Where you from?

Us: Here.

Axle (looking at us as if we were bullshitting him): But you're drinking PBR - isn't it from the Midwest somewhere?

Us: Uh, yeah...?

We weren't sure there was a correlation.

Axle: So, really, where are you from.

Us (confused): Here? (implying, what are you getting at here?)

And then, because suddenly we felt awkward and bad. Like he was trying to make us sorry for being rude. Even though we weren't.

Us: Well, technically we were born in Texas, but we grew up here.

Axle: Born in Texas, huh?

Us: Sí.

Axle (now really looking at us as if we're being the rudest): Sí?

Honestly, we don't know why that popped out. He stomped of.

How do guys have a way of doing that? Making a girl feel like she's being a bitch if she's nice, but not giving him what he think he deserves? The four friends who happened to witness the exchange rolled their eyes and gave us the "lucky you lost that one," look.

Axle continued to work the girls in the room. The man was persistent. It got worse - at some point he let his long, curly hair down and it hung in a tangled mess over the jock strap thingymajig.

At the end of the night, we were standing at the front of the room, along the wall with a few others, listening to the last of the music and watching Axle/Jock Strap interact with a girl at the bar.

A camera came out and suddenly his pants dropped and all five of us were treated to a peek at his bare ass. It wasn't an accident. We don't even want to think about what you could see from the camera angle! Ugh.

Not that we were questioning our earlier judgment - but it looks like we ducked a good one.

*A great story (and videos) about Picwick at the open mic. If you haven't heard of them, they're definitely worth a listen. We hope the band doesn't mind being featured in this story. They're absolute gentlemen!