November 29, 2010


We met Patchwork Jacket on a popular dating website. He was our second "experience." He suggested dinner with some of his friends. Which we thought was a little odd, but said yes anyway.

We arrived on time but seemed to be the last there. It was a group of eight, seated around couches. (Not the most conducive set-up for group chatting, let alone a date.) And Patchwork, a little distracted and hyper, was focused on making sure every last person was entertained. First date-type interaction seemed like a low priority.

Still going with it, we chatted with the nice, calm guy seated next to us.

After dinner, Patchwork and one friend announced they were heading to a nearby bar. We got invited. Since we didn't have anything else planned on this Saturday evening (we’re not in the habit of making back-up plans when we have a date, perhaps we’ll rethink), we went along.

And here’s how he earned his name. 

As we were leaving, Patchwork puts on a blazer made up of various sizes of leather squares, in every level of brown you can imagine, sewn together in an incredible patchwork pattern. Apparently it had been hiding in his man bag. We were alarmed and commented, saying it was colorful. He responded with “it’s my favorite.”

Had the jacket been his first offense of the evening, we might have been more tolerant. But, it wasn’t. And so we decided right then and there – there wasn’t going to be a second date.

At the second bar after a disastrous attempt at dancing with Patchwork Jacket where he also leaned in for a kiss (not good!), we began an illicit flirtation with a hottie who was a great dancer. Patchwork didn’t notice. (Not our proudest moment, but we didn’t get all dressed up for nothing.)

And success! Hot Dancer Guy called the next day. 


Jmarls80 said...

I want to make some sort of comment about turning patchwork into a whole hide, a la lemons into lemonade - but I am not clever enough, and I think you get where I'm going.

Saltina said...

Sounds like a smart cookie to me ;)